Week 5 Story: The Origins of Bata and Anpu
"We must go Anpu. You have to care for your little brother Bata while we are away. I know you are settling down on your own, but we need your help" said Mother in distress.
"Why can't he go with you? You say you are going to find more oxen for your fields, might as well teach him how to do just that." Anpu retorted.
"He is far too young and you know this. He looks up to you, he will do as you say. We will be back before you are to be wed" spoke Father with strength.
Mother assisted Bata in his packing while singing stories of their future journey to the marketplace and of the people they will see.
"Will you see Pharaoh?" asked Bata with gleaming eyes.
"Well, I'm not sure. We will be near him and his palace, so maybe if we are lucky" said Mother with a smile.
Bata slung his heavy pack over his back and headed toward his brother with excitement.
"I can't wait to see your house with all the space you say you have! I want to meet your oxen and become good friends with them! Can you teach me how to talk to them?" Bata rambled quickly as if he was trying to say it all in one breath.
"Find some peace Bata. We will have plenty of time to explore" Anpu said as he lifted him onto his donkey.
"Safe travels. Please be quick" remarked Anpu as he headed for home. Bata waved enthusiastically to his parents until they were completely out of site.
...
Anpu had successfully taught Bata how to care for the oxen, although he is still a little young to attend to them himself. He wondered how much longer his parents would be, as his wedding was drawing near, and thought that Ra could give him some insight. That night, after Bata was asleep, he asked Ra of his parents whereabouts. Ra decided to give him visions of his future with Bata and he soon realized that his parents were never going to return. He was enraged and then calmed by the realization that having Bata around reduced the effort he would have to exert caring for his home.
The next day he told Bata of his visions sent from Ra and consoled his brother the best he knew how.
"Hey, now you can really perfect talking to those oxen. I'm sure you have a lot to say, go try it out."
Bata smeared his tears and slowly walked to the byre where the oxen were kept. "My brother once told me that you guys can talk if you really like someone. Is that true?" he asked bluntly. The oxen stared blankly at the kid and continued to eat the fodder that remained in their stalls. "I know you guys can talk, so you don't have to hide it anymore" he said while pointing at them. Again, the oxen remained as they were, undisturbed. "If you're scared, that's okay. I'm actually scared too... My parents aren't coming back for me and I know my brother doesn't really want me here all the time." he said shrugging and holding back tears. The oxen looked at each other, walked towards Bata, and then laid by his side.
"Listen kid, Anpu is going to make you work hard, and you all will have struggles, but when you need him most, he will be there for you". Bata was shocked, his mouth dropped to his knees and his eyes sparkled for the first time in a long time. "We will be here to go through your hard days, but he will be there in your worst days. Now, can we get some more to eat?" Bata giggled and gave the oxen some more fodder and herbs. He walked back to the house pondering on what the oxen had told him. He decided to put his past behind him and look forward to the mysterious future foretold by his new friends.
...
"Why can't he go with you? You say you are going to find more oxen for your fields, might as well teach him how to do just that." Anpu retorted.
"He is far too young and you know this. He looks up to you, he will do as you say. We will be back before you are to be wed" spoke Father with strength.
Mother assisted Bata in his packing while singing stories of their future journey to the marketplace and of the people they will see.
"Will you see Pharaoh?" asked Bata with gleaming eyes.
"Well, I'm not sure. We will be near him and his palace, so maybe if we are lucky" said Mother with a smile.
Bata slung his heavy pack over his back and headed toward his brother with excitement.
"I can't wait to see your house with all the space you say you have! I want to meet your oxen and become good friends with them! Can you teach me how to talk to them?" Bata rambled quickly as if he was trying to say it all in one breath.
"Find some peace Bata. We will have plenty of time to explore" Anpu said as he lifted him onto his donkey.
"Safe travels. Please be quick" remarked Anpu as he headed for home. Bata waved enthusiastically to his parents until they were completely out of site.
...
Anpu had successfully taught Bata how to care for the oxen, although he is still a little young to attend to them himself. He wondered how much longer his parents would be, as his wedding was drawing near, and thought that Ra could give him some insight. That night, after Bata was asleep, he asked Ra of his parents whereabouts. Ra decided to give him visions of his future with Bata and he soon realized that his parents were never going to return. He was enraged and then calmed by the realization that having Bata around reduced the effort he would have to exert caring for his home.
The next day he told Bata of his visions sent from Ra and consoled his brother the best he knew how.
"Hey, now you can really perfect talking to those oxen. I'm sure you have a lot to say, go try it out."
Bata smeared his tears and slowly walked to the byre where the oxen were kept. "My brother once told me that you guys can talk if you really like someone. Is that true?" he asked bluntly. The oxen stared blankly at the kid and continued to eat the fodder that remained in their stalls. "I know you guys can talk, so you don't have to hide it anymore" he said while pointing at them. Again, the oxen remained as they were, undisturbed. "If you're scared, that's okay. I'm actually scared too... My parents aren't coming back for me and I know my brother doesn't really want me here all the time." he said shrugging and holding back tears. The oxen looked at each other, walked towards Bata, and then laid by his side.
"Listen kid, Anpu is going to make you work hard, and you all will have struggles, but when you need him most, he will be there for you". Bata was shocked, his mouth dropped to his knees and his eyes sparkled for the first time in a long time. "We will be here to go through your hard days, but he will be there in your worst days. Now, can we get some more to eat?" Bata giggled and gave the oxen some more fodder and herbs. He walked back to the house pondering on what the oxen had told him. He decided to put his past behind him and look forward to the mysterious future foretold by his new friends.
...
("Oxen Team" by pennstatenews is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)
*Authors Note: I decided to do a prequel to the stories about The Two Brothers. I really enjoyed the original stories but thought that certain elements within them needed a backstory to really clarify their importance, or even just to explain how the characters possessed powers they had or got into the situations they did. The two aspects I focused on were Bata's ability to communicate with the oxen and the parents absence.
The first story starts out with Anpu owning a home and having a wife and Bata working in his home acting as his son. The only reference to their parents is that they shared them, so I thought it would be interesting to show the backstory of their parents. There are many ways I could have gone with this, but I thought that leaving the fate of the parents open so the reader could imagine just exactly what happened would be best. However, I hinted at them meeting the Pharaoh to give some hints as to possible outcomes.
In the second story, the oxen tell Bata of his brothers secret attempt to harm him so I thought developing this skill would be important to show. This highlighted the importance of the oxen. I also think showing this relationship of the brothers allows the character development in the original stories to really flourish.
Finally, I tied this prequel to the original stories with the oxen's premonition. It is vague as I didn't want to spoil the twists of the original stories, but once you read them, you can see how it describes the overall plot of these stories.
Bibliography: The Two Brothers Part One, from Egyptian Myth and Legend by Donald Mackenzie (1907).
Hey AshLynn!
ReplyDeleteThis was a very interesting way of telling your story, and I enjoyed reading it! I loved the blunt personalities that the talking oxen had, and while I was a bit confused as to what exactly was going on while reading the story, the author's notes helped to clear it up for me. Overall, it was a fun read, though I would maybe put a bit more expository information in the story itself next time.
I hope to read more of your stories throughout the semester!
Hey Ashlynn,
ReplyDeleteI love the dynamic that you have between the two brothers. Siblings are often great point for tension and conflict, but they are also good support systems for the characters. I like how they interacted with each other. It really pulled me into the story. Any issue that I saw was purely grammatical. However, I dived into the story and hardly noticed them.